Recently I came across a TED TALK by Celeste Headlee on “how to have a better conversation”. So, I would like to share the 5 rules which we all must learn to have a better conversation.

A general thought may come into your mind that what is the need to read this article? Then let me remind you of a well-said quote. Take a look at in the picture given above.

Where it is required at all?

Having a better conversation is required whether you go for a job interview or a group discussion or while talking with your friends or even while you are out on a date with your girlfriend or boyfriend. If you know some rules, then it creates a better and long lasting impression on the person with whom you are talking with.

So, let’s get back to the heading of this article which is “5 rules to have a better conversation”.

Rule no.1

Don’t show that you are paying attention, in fact, pay attention. 

You may have heard that while you are giving a job interview or while having any professional conversion show that you are paying attention. Our simple question is, why to show attention if you are actually paying it.

Stay focused & get involved in the conversation. It is something like the interest shown by us while having a chat with our loved ones, or while watching the end of a Hindi movie. We get involved completely and forget for a while whatever is happing in the surroundings and no second thought comes to our mind. The same thing should be reflected while having any conversation to make it an effective conversation.

Rule no.2

Don’t multitask

Having the capability to multitask may add some value to your resume but not to the conversation. Don’t multitask while having a serious conversation or if the conversation is important to you.

Imagine a situation that you are having a coffee with someone after a long time. While having the conversation if the second person other than you kept on looking his/her phone, again and again, you may think that he/she is not paying any attention to the conversation you are having. It may be irritating for you.

If you are doing two works at a time, you are doing neither with the required focus and attention.

Rule no.3

Be Brief

It is better to stick to the topic while having a conversation or even while answering a question during an interview or dealing with any other situation. While we pay attention it is also required that another person also keeps on paying attention. So, Stick to the topic and be brief.

The less you talk, the more you are listened to.

Rule no.4

Listen without interrupting

The most fundamental concept of all good conversations (and life in general) is the ability to listen. It’s the hardest thing to do but it’s the most important.

Listen to understand not to reply back is the another most important thing you must apply while having a conversion. It is our habit to start talking while the other person may not have stopped yet. This makes the conversation lesser meaningful. It just shows that we are just interested in saying what we have to say and we have nothing to do with what the other person is saying.

If we have not cultivated the habit of listening, then often it happens that we assume in advance what another person will say. And then we lend up answering or doing something which is not intended to.



learn to listen

Rule no.5

Learn to say “Sorry I don’t know”

If you don’t know about something, say that you don’t know. Your talk should not be cheap.

Merely showing that you know this that etc doesn’t add value to your image in another person’s mind. In fact, it deteriorates sharply if caught up bragging lies. You are not expected to be google, but it expected that you have some honesty, integrity and self-respect for your own soul.

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